What to do When a Negotiation Sours

Here are the three most common problems, with short term and long term solutions:

Problem: The customer threatens to go to a competitor.
Short Term Solution: Say something vaguely nice about the competition (e.g. “well, they’re a very fine company”) and then explain why your solution is unique.
Next Time: Treat the sales process as a means to eliminate the customer’s options. At the beginning of a sales cycle, the customer is typically open to multiple solutions from multiple providers. You need to convince the customer that your product or service is the only one that can adequately fulfill the customer’s needs. Don’t start negotiating the deal until you’ve aced out the competitors.

Problem: The customer cites internal politics as the source of an unreasonable demand.
Short Term Solution: Say something understanding and sympathetic (e.g. “Gee, it must be hard when other groups fight against your success”) and then ask questions that cause the customer to feel the pain that will result from not having your solution. (e.g. “What are you going to do when inventory costs skyrocket again?”)
Next Time: Develop at least three contacts inside the customer’s organization, so that you’re aware of any real political problems and can head them off before they become problems during the negotiation.

Problem: The customer surfaces a list of last-minute demands and insists that the deal is off if those demands aren’t met.
Short Term Solution: Call the bluff. Last minute demands that magically appear after a negotiation has been largely completed aren’t what they seem. The customer is probably testing you to ensure that the negotiated deal is the best possible agreement. Hold steady, and the customer will be relieved and will take the demands off the table.
Next Time: Spend time during the sales cycle to articulate your firms policies and precedents and why they make sense for both firms.

The above is based upon a conversation with negotiation guru Randall Murphy, president of the sales training firm Acclivus R3.

7 tips for becoming a true leader

But in business, plotting long and hard to climb into a leadership role often is indistinguishable from inadvertently falling into one. The fact is, whether you take a deliberate step toward an objective or immediately trip on a shoelace, you may end up in the same spot.

Here, then, are eight attributes that separate genuine leadership from leadership by Jeff Wuorio that's more a matter of chance:

1.Real leadership means leading yourself. Passing out orders is as easy as passing out business cards. But a prudent leader also knows how to lead himself or herself — not merely to provide a genuine example to others, but to become a working element of the overall machinery of your business. "It's important that leaders have the ability to focus and motivate themselves as they motivate others," says Larraine Segil, an author and consultant who teaches executive education at the California Institute of Technology in Pasadena

2.Don't be a monarch. Thoughtful leadership likely means you already have a talented work force in place. That's terrific. But be careful not set up a throne room in the process. Accidental leaders often inadvertently establish a system of guidance that's unnecessarily restrictive. Guide employees, but don't implement more parameters than are absolutely necessary. "It's important to influence the people with whom you work," says Segil. "Don't see your business as a hierarchy."

3.Be open to new ways of doing things. One potential land mine of a prosperous operation is to repeat anything that proves successful. It's hard to argue against that, but an inadvertent leader will put far too much stock in sticking with what always works. By contrast, thoughtful leadership acknowledges success but also recognizes there are always ways to do things better.

4.Establish a genuine sense of commitment. I must admit this is a personal sore point with me. I've seen too many company slogans and catch phrases whose import is no deeper than the paper they're written on. Want to be "committed to superior service"? More power to you, but a genuine leader will see that as words and little else. Instead, put some meat on those bones — establish how to quantify excellence, design a cogent plan to achieve it and set a reasonable but real timetable for its completion.

5.Finish the job. Many business leaders yak about their complete game, but how many actually finish what they say they're going to start? A thoughtless leader who never genuinely finishes anything loses the confidence of clients and customers. That lack of follow-through isn't going to be lost on his or her employees, either. Instead, set goals and establish pragmatic, accountable measures to actually finish what you start. "The ability to complete things is critical," Segil says. "Nothing's useful unless you actually complete it."

6.Show genuine appreciation. Thoughtless leaders must have forearms like Popeye's, what with all the back-slapping they do. That's fine, but good performance requires a more substantive response. Leaders with an eye to the future hand out praise but augment it with real rewards: promotions, raises, bonuses and other tangible tokens of appreciation. That motivates your people, not only to apply themselves with enthusiasm but to stick around your company longer than they might otherwise.

7.Know that leadership skills come from learning, too. Far too may business executives believe leadership skills stem from some sort of wondrous epiphany or other such flash of insight. Sure, great ideas can come to any of us, but being a bona fide leader also means study. Read books on effective leadership, attend seminars and pick the brains of colleagues to see what works for them. It can be a long education, but one with rewards that multiply with the more knowledge you have under your belt.

Jeff Wuorio is a veteran freelance writer and author based in southern Maine. He writes about small-business management, marketing and technology issues.